Womp Womp

Because The Husband and I have plans to go down the shore this weekend. I took some time last night to make a little something for the blog. I have been watching a lot of America's Test Kitchen lately and they just made a delicious looking scalloped potato recipe. A perfect use of the potatoes recently blessed to me by The Box. So with the ingredients I needed secured, and The Husband getting home for dinner around 7:30. I was well on my way to turn this:

Into bacon-y, onion-y goodness. Or at least that was the plan.

I started off by peeling the 3lbs of Potatoes.

And then I cut 3 slices of bacon and set it to render out slowly over low heat.

1 onion thinly sliced and some chopped thyme later the bacon was nice and crispy.

The house was smelling delicious and I was starting to feel really good about where this recipe was going.

I drained off the fat and added a tablespoon back into the pot. I had just put the onions into the bacon fat to caramelize and began slicing the potatoes into perfect slices when the phone rang at exactly 7:16 pm.

• Me: Hi Honey, what's up
• The Husband: Nothing much, just left work, what are you up to?
• Me: Slicing potatoes on the Mandolin
• The Husband:  Fancy. Ok I'll be home in like 20 minutes. Don't cut yourself.
• Me: I won't. Love you see you soon

According to my cell phone records that phone call lasted 4 minutes and 8 seconds. Literally 5 minutes after hanging up the phone  (7:25 for those of you keeping track) my hand slipped. And... well...

• Me: How far away did you say you were?
• The Husband: 15 minutes now, why, what's the matter?
• Me: Remember how you said not to cut myself?
• The Husband  Yes
• Me: Well I did, and It's the worst I've ever done. We have to go to the emergency room.
• The Husband: Stem the bleeding and I will see you in 10.

I feel like an idiot. I know how dangerous Mandolins are, I've sliced myself before. This time was really bad and I knew right away. I didn't even stop to rinse it off to see how deep it was I just grabbed a wad of paper towels and put pressure on it, raising it above my head. Then I went about turning off the stove, and bemoaning what I knew to be a lost meal.

When The Husband got home he was pleased to find me conscious (I certainly wasn't bleeding fast enough to justify that being a concern) and off we drove to the hospital 5 minutes away. I was not the only Finger Laceration in the ER that night. In fact it appears that is all there was (3 people in the waiting room with me). But I was the only one to have done it with a Mandolin (see told you I was fancy). And the Doctor told me I was only his 2nd Mandolin victim in 3 years (Really Fancy). I feel like an idiot.

4 tubes of surgical glue, 2.5 hours and 1 tetanus shot later I was all patched up. But my meal was obviously ruined.

So dear sweet reader, I have no end result for you. All I can tell you is that this recipe looks delicious and if you are brave you should try and make it. I know there will come a day soon when I am all healed up that I will break out my Mandolin again and give it another shot. Just this time, with my brand new Kevlar Fish Scaling Glove protecting my sensitive fingers.

BTW The Husband: I love you for being so awesome about the whole ordeal.

The Recipe:
Recipe credit goes to America's Test Kitchen and can be found HERE.

• 3 slices thick-cut bacon, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
• 1 large onion, halved and sliced thin
• 1 ¼ teaspoons salt
• 2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme
• ½ teaspoon pepper
• 1 ¼ cups low-sodium chicken broth
• 1 ¼ cups beef broth
• 3 pounds Yukon gold potatoes, peeled
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into 4 pieces
• Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and heat oven to 425 degrees. Grease 13 by 9-inch baking dish.

1. Cook bacon in medium saucepan over medium-low heat until crisp, 10 to 13 minutes.
2. Using slotted spoon, transfer bacon to paper towel–lined plate. Remove and discard all but 1 tablespoon fat from pot.
3. Return pot to medium heat and add onion and 1/4 teaspoon salt; cook, stirring frequently, until onion is soft and golden brown, about 25 minutes, adjusting heat and adding water 1 tablespoon at a time if onion or bottom of pot becomes too dark.
4. Transfer onion to large bowl; add bacon, thyme, remaining 1 teaspoon salt, and pepper
5. Add broths to now-empty saucepan and bring to simmer over medium-high heat, scraping bottom of pan to loosen any browned bits.
6. Slice potatoes 1/8 inch thick. At this point to avoid going to the ER, DO NOT CUT YOURSELF.
7. Transfer to bowl with onion mixture and toss to combine. Transfer to prepared baking dish. Firmly press down on mixture to compress into even layer.
8. Carefully pour hot broth over top of potatoes.
9. Dot surface evenly with butter.
10. Bake, uncovered, until potatoes are tender and golden brown on edges and most of liquid has been absorbed, 45 to 55 minutes.
11. Transfer to wire rack and let stand for 20 minutes to fully absorb broth before cutting and serving.