This is NOT my Eggplant Parmesan Recipe

If you know me, in real life, and IF you've ever eaten my food, and IF you've ever asked me what my really, truly best dish is that I make. I will tell you that it is my Eggplant Parmesan. I will tell you that this Eggplant Parmesan has been painstakingly molded into the BEST Eggplant Parmesan anyone has ever made and it only took me 6  years. It started with a day of Food Network watching back in college back when the Food Network was all cooking shows (do you remember that?) I was watching somebody, somewhere make Eggplant Parm and I thought to myself, I can do that better, and I did.

Over the years the recipe was perfected, mostly benefiting my beloved roommates on days when I would skip out of class and just cook because I felt like cooking. I break it out only when begged and I have enough time (can't play hookey from work just to cook). It takes at least 2 full days of cooking. I am PROUD of that recipe and there is no way, NO HOW, NOT EVEN A SINGLE CHANCE that I will give it away.

But, beloved reader, I am not cruel and when The Box gave me Eggplant I could think of nothing better to do then make Eggplant Parmesan. And so, today, for the very first time I am writing down an Eggplant Parmesan recipe, and I will tell you that this recipe will produce a decent Eggplant Parmesan. In fact this Eggplant Parmesan will likely be better then the vast majority of Eggplant Parmesans out there. But rest assured, this is NOT my Eggplant Parmesan Recipe.

If you want that you will have to find a way to extract it from my brain after death.