Kitchen too clean? I can fix that.

Eggs Benedict, for those of you who have only seen it on restaurant menus but never ordered it, is this wonderful breakfast dish that you can find at most "brunch-y" locations in New York City and likely around the country (although I have never found good Eggs Benedict outside of the city... still looking). It consists of a poached egg, on top of a piece of Canadian Bacon, on top of some sort of starch (traditionally an English muffin), covered in hollandaise. Essentially it's a little packet of cholesterol that is decidedly yummy in the tummy.

Now why am I talking about Eggs Benedict? Well, when I saw the blue (yes blue) potatoes in The Box this week I spent some time thinking really hard about all the times I had eaten potatoes in my life and my favorite  kinds of preparations and the thing I landed on was... Latkes (or potato pancakes for the Non-Jews out there). Now, although Latkes are amazing and can certainly be consumed willingly by themselves, not only did I not have enough blue (yes blue) potatoes to make a batch big enough to satisfy two people (there probably  aren't enough potatoes in the world to do that), but also it's 90 degrees and humid. Adding hot oil to the problem for an extended period of time seemed like a bad idea. So I concocted a plan. I was going to turn this:

Into a delicious base on which I would build a meal of Eggs Benedict.


The Husband and I have a long history of taking on what we call "projects;" these are cooking projects which we would usually just buy, either at a restaurant or a bakery, rather than make ourselves, but because it is somebody's birthday, or because we just want to, we've decided to try to make them from scratch. It's usually breakfast items. We've made Bagels, Cinnamon Rolls, Donuts, and once... ONCE... Eggs Benedict.

It seems odd for two people who are truly, truly Benedict fans. However, the one and ONLY time we've ever made Benedict was in my New York City apartment's tiny kitchen, where we dirtied every single surface and every single cooking utensil available. Nothing was spared, not even the cabinet doors. My roommate was not very happy with us (sorry Dana). We MIGHT have sworn never to make the dish again, no matter how delicious it was, but when I texted "Blue (yes blue) Potato Latke Eggs Benedict" to The Husband, our previous concerns about mess were pushed aside and a plan was hatched (lol...egg pun).

The First step was to peel and cut the Blue (YES BLUE) Potato, and the two Texas Star Onions (also from the box). I decided to cut the potatoes them first to get this truly awesome picture.

and then immediately regretted that decision while attempting to peel half potatoes.

I then used Tyler to grate the potatoes and the onions together.

Next, The Husband and I used our brute strength to wring out the onion and potato mixture in some cheese cloth until almost all of the liquid was pulled out. Look at that purple color... you could dye a shirt with that.

I then mixed an egg, some flour, some salt and pepper together in a bowl until it formed a paste and added the potato, onion mixture.

Once it looked evenly combined, I took about an 1/8 of a cup at a time and set them to fry, flipping when brown.

And finally set them aside in a warmed toaster oven to await their next step (we got about 9 Latkes). Although not without eating one, or two, or three, of them and cutting one in half for a picture.

With the Latkes made, the kitchen was already kinda messy and smelling like hot oil, but bravely we sauntered on, determined that this time, it would be much neater. We were experienced, we were using a different hollandaise recipe, we knew what we were doing (the arrogance).

Speaking of hollandaise, part of our arrogance was that rather than make it on the stove top over a double boiler (like we did the last time), we were going to use the blender method recommended by the Saint of French Cooking herself, Julia Child. We had been assured by many a blogger that this was the easiest method, and very hard to screw up, we were promised... we were lied to.

To do this method you melt a 1/2 a cup of butter on the stove top until it starts to foam,  then you take 3 eggs yolks, put them in a blender with some salt, pepper, and a tablespoon of lemon juice.

Then, with the blender running, you slowly drizzle in the hot butter.

This was all well and good and relatively painless, until, of course... SOMEONE (and by someone I mean me), managed to pour molten hot butter all over the place.

Don't worry - nobody got burned and we still got a decent sauce, albeit probably a little bit thicker than expected. The final step was to toast the Canadian Bacon (not hard....just throw it in the pan for a bit until both sides brown slightly) and make the poached eggs.

The Husband was in charge of this. He went to The Google Machine and The You Tubes and watched a couple of videos, until he gained the confidence to poach. Poaching an egg is....tricky, and hard to explain in writing. we will let the Informative Mr. Brown explain it for you in this video. Watch:

The Husband's eggs did in fact come out perfectly AND it was the cleanest part of the recipe. I am impressed.

Once the eggs were completed a little assembly was required and The Final Result, was achieved:

THE VERDICT:

The Latkes were delicious, as fried potato (or really fried anything) usually is. Unfortunately as you can seem from the picture the purple color really didn't show up as much as the potatoes seemed to advertise. I think when we wrung out the potato mixture we lost a lot of the coloring with the water. There also wasn't really a flavor difference and, despite our "hands-on" approach, we did not dye our hands. Ah well, it still tasted really good.

The hollandaise in the blender was certainly a genius plan and tasted amazing, although I expect nothing less from the Saint of French Cooking. I think the trick is probably to NOT pour the butter all over the counter top.

Eggs Benedict, by the way, is STILL the most messy (and the most delicious) dish I've ever made and making Latkes at the same time DOES NOT HELP. After we were done eating I turned around to look at my kitchen, and start to freak out. EVERY SURFACE WAS COVERED IN SOMETHING. How does that even happen?

I think it is safe to say, for the sake of our kitchen and our sanity, that we probably will leave the Benedict to the professionals from this point on.... At least until we have the money to pay someone to clean. 

The Recipes:

Potato Latkes

Recipe credit goes to Deb over at Smitten Kitchen and can be found HERE.

• 1 pound of potatoes, peeled
• 1 small onion
• 1 large egg, lightly beaten
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
• Vegetable oil, for frying

1. In a food processor or on a box grater, coarsely shred the potato and onion. Transfer to a colander or wrap in a cheesecloth sling, and squeeze as dry as possible. Let stand for 2 minutes, then squeeze dry again.
2. In a large bowl, whisk the flour, egg, salt and pepper together. Stir in the potato onion mixture until all pieces are evenly coated.
3. In a medium skillet, heat 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil until shimmering. Drop packed 1/8 cups of the potato mixture into the skillet and flatten them. Cook the latkes over moderately high heat until the edges are golden, about 1 1/2 minutes; flip and cook until golden on the bottom, about 1 minute. Drain on paper towels. Repeat with the remaining potato mixture, adding more oil to the skillet as needed.

Hollandaise 

Recipe from "Mastering the Art of French Cooking: The 40th Anniversary Edition" by: Julia Child, Louisette Bertholle and Simone Beck

• 3 egg yolks
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• Pinch black pepper
• 1 to 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, cut into small pieces

1. In a blender, combine the egg yolks, salt, pepper and 1 tablespoon of the lemon juice. Set aside.
2. In a small saucepan over medium-high, add the butter and heat until foaming.
3. Blend the egg yolk mixture at top speed for 2 seconds then, with the blender running, remove the cover and pour in the hot butter in a thin stream of droplets. By the time two-thirds of the butter has been added, the sauce will be a thick cream. Continue pouring, but don't pour in the milky residue at the bottom of the pan. 
4. Taste and adjust seasonings.
5. If not using the sauce immediately, set the blender carafe in tepid, but not warm, water.